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Rory Albanese: Least Respected Place |
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Nasim Pedrad - Comedy and Jokes
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Friday, 02 April 2010 22:00 |
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I'm from Long Island, which is the least respected place in the world. I travel all over the country. I could be in the middle of Omaha doing something and the guy comes up to me and says, 'Hey, where'd you grow up?' I'm like, 'Long Island.' And he's like, 'Loser.' Really? I grew up 22 miles from Manhattan; you lost your virginity to corn. I feel like I win that round. I'm like, 'I've seen the ocean. Game over.' |
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Mo Mandel: Bought But Never Used |
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Nasim Pedrad - Comedy and Jokes
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Thursday, 01 April 2010 22:00 |
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Our high school coach got caught with meth at a game. And he told the school that he had bought it but never used it. I've never bought drugs and not used them. Right? They're not condoms. |
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Mo Mandel: Two Drink Minimum |
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Nasim Pedrad - Comedy and Jokes
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Thursday, 01 April 2010 22:00 |
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You ever been to a comedy club? Not a very classy environment. They always have a two drink minimum. They force you to drink 'cause they're very insecure that the show might suck. They're like, 'Come on in -- this guy's hilarious, as long as you are f**ked up the whole time.' Can you imagine another business trying to pull that? You go to a restaurant; they're like, 'Come on in, the food's great here. Before you eat it, you got to smoke some weed. Yeah, we just serve Hot Pockets up in this bitch. But if you're high it, doesn't suck as much.' |
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The Sklar Brothers: Andrew Dice Clay |
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Nasim Pedrad - Comedy and Jokes
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Friday, 26 March 2010 22:00 |
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Jason Sklar: After Dice performs for an hour it's no longer a comedy room. It's a disaster area.
Randy Sklar: I don't want to say it was a disaster area, but FEMA showed up three weeks late. |
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