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Mike Vecchione: Look Like a Cop |
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Nasim Pedrad - Comedy and Jokes
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Sunday, 11 July 2010 22:00 |
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I was dating this girl; she's like, 'Mike, you look so much like a cop, why don't you just become a cop?' I'm like, 'I respect the police, I just couldn't wear a uniform to work every day.' And she's like, 'Why don't you just become an undercover cop?' I was like, 'Well, I hate to point out the obvious here, but if I look like a cop, chances are I wouldn't be too effective undercover.' |
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Nasim Pedrad - Comedy and Jokes
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Sunday, 16 May 2010 22:15 |
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I saw a grown man once riding one of those weird standup scooters down the side of the road -- you have to tilt to make it move forward, I think it's called a Segway or a Douchebag Way -- wearing a toga and holding a sign for a pizza sale. My first thought was, 'Congrats, you've hit rock bottom.' But my second thought was, 'If you took away just the sign, then that guy would rule.' |
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Myq Kaplan: Not Encouraged to Be Smart |
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Nasim Pedrad - Comedy and Jokes
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Friday, 30 April 2010 22:00 |
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You're not encouraged to be smart growing up. There are bullies and kids be like, 'Hey, I'll knock the books out of your hands. Now, neither of us can read.' |
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Jeff Dye: Mom and Electronics |
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Nasim Pedrad - Comedy and Jokes
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Wednesday, 28 April 2010 22:00 |
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She doesn't know how to use anything electronic. Anything that requires technology she doesn't know how to use -- except the e-mail forward. I don't know what it is about moms and the e-mail forward, but they get it immediately. My mom can't even use the dishwasher, yet every morning I have 75 new e-mails, all from my mom. Oh great, what cat dressed like a human today? What couldn't wait 'til never? |
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