I saw a grown man once riding one of those weird standup scooters down the side of the road -- you have to tilt to make it move forward, I think it's called a Segway or a Douchebag Way -- wearing a toga and holding a sign for a pizza sale. My first thought was, 'Congrats, you've hit rock bottom.' But my second thought was, 'If you took away just the sign, then that guy would rule.'